Lately there have been two words that keep coming up for me repeatedly & almost everyday. Focus & Choice! These 2 words have been coming up in what I'm reading, blogs, devotions, e-mails & texts. They've also been coming up in conversations & videos I've been watching on the internet. So I've realized that this can't be just a coincidence, it has to be God wanting me to understand something. But what is it? That I'm not sure of. My quiet time has been back to suffering again. I've been having so much trouble calming down, relaxing & keeping other thoughts from my mind anytime I sit down to spend quietly with the Lord. I hate to admit it but I've been giving up on my quiet time when this keeps happening each time. Not a good response! I know I should be doing it anyway, persevering through but it's been a struggle to get done this last week.
Yesterday I started thinking about those two words, Focus & Choice. This morning I decided to get out my concordance & look them up but guess what, there is nothing for focus. So I got on the computer & looked up synonyms for focus & I found one that was in the concordance, Direct, directed, directs. So I spenp some time this morning looking up the verses listed under each & found some that I liked & thought fit for what I was looking for.
Here they are...
Direct
Psalm 119:35
Direct me in the path of your commands, for there I find delight.
Psalm 119:133
Direct my footsteps according to your word; let no sin rule over me.
Jeremiah 10:23
I know, O Lord, that a man's life is not his own; it is not for man to direct his steps.
Here are the study notes for Jeremiah 10:23-24
God's ability to direct our lives well is infinitely beyond our ability. Sometimes we are afraid of God's power & God's plans because we know his power would easily crush us if her used it against us. Don't be afraid to let God correct your plans. He will give you wisdom if you are willing.
2 Thessalonians 3:5
May the Lord direct your hearts into God's love & Christ's perseverance.
Directed
Proverbs 20:24
A man's steps are directed by the Lord. How then can anyone understand his own ways?
Here are the study notes for Proverbs 20:24
We are so often confused by the events around us. Many things we will never understand; others will fall into place in years to come as we look back & see how God was working. This proverb counsels us not to worryif we don't understand everything as it happens. Instead, we should trust that God knows what he's doing, even if his timing or design is not clear to us.
See Psalm 37:23 for a reassuring promise of God's direction in your life.
Psalm 37:23
If the Lord delights in a man's way, he makes his steps firm;
Here are the study notes for Psalm 37:23-24
The person in whom God delights is one who follows God, trusts him & tries to do his will. God watches over & makes firm every step that person takes. If you would like to have God direct your way, then seek his advice before you step out.
Directs
Psalm 42:8
By day the Lord directs his love, at night his song is with me - A prayer to the God of my life.
Isaiah 48:17
This is what the Lord says - your redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: I am the Lord your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go.
Here are the study notes for Isaiah 48: 17-18
Like a loving parent, God teaches & directs us. We should listen to him because Peace & Righteousness come to us as we oby his word. Refusing to pay attention to God's commands invites punishment & threatens that Peace & Righteousness.
Now to give this all some thought & figure out what God is trying to get through to me.
Friday, August 26, 2011
Friday, August 5, 2011
Morning Devotion
This mornings devotion reinforces for me what I heard God saying to me last night in my quiet time!
Aug. 5
Sit Quietly In My Presence while I bless you. Make your mind like a still pool of water, ready to receive whatever thoughts I drop into it. Rest in My sufficiency, as you consider the challenges this day presents. Do not wear yoursefl out by worrying about whether you can cope with the pressures. Keep looking to Me & communicating with Me, as we walk through this day together.
Take time to rest by the wayside, for I am not in a hurry. A leisurely pace accomplishes more than hurried striving. When you rush, you forget who you are & Whose you are. Remember that you are royalty in My kingdom.
Psalm 37:7; Romans 8:16-17; 1 Peter 2:9
Psalm 37:7
Be still before the Lord & wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.
Romans 8:16-17
The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs - heirs of God & co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order taht we may also share in his glory.
1 Peter 2:9
But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.
Last night in my quiet time, I felt God telling me " Do not rush. Take your time, doing a little each day. I will show you when & where to stop & rest. You will get there when the time is right."
I still feel this to be true this morning. I try to put my all into anything I do which is a good thing & also a bad thing at times too. When I put my all into doing something, I really put my all into it. Then my perfectionistic tendencies come out & I get consumed easy, often times neglecting other duties in my life. I feel like this is happening with my wanting to learn all that I can of God's word. While that's a great thing to want to do, if I'm neglecting other responsibilities then I'm not honoring God in the right way.
I'm looking for that right balance when it comes to my everyday responsibilities, my quiet time, Bible studies & reading/studying my Bible, being in God's word. I've been losing my focus lately & getting all consumed easily. I'm working on so many things at once & getting overwhelmed.
I'm chosing to listen to God, slowing down, stopping & resting when I feel God telling me to do so. While I'm anxious to learn, grow & heal, I also see the point in slowing down too. When I rush to learn, grow & heal then it's not lasting, It's fleeting. Real, lasting learning growth & healing takes time. However much time that consists of is up to God's perfect timing. I'm choosing to slow down & trust in God's timing. I'll get there & I'm not stopping, just slowing down to take in the deeper meaning.
Aug. 5
Sit Quietly In My Presence while I bless you. Make your mind like a still pool of water, ready to receive whatever thoughts I drop into it. Rest in My sufficiency, as you consider the challenges this day presents. Do not wear yoursefl out by worrying about whether you can cope with the pressures. Keep looking to Me & communicating with Me, as we walk through this day together.
Take time to rest by the wayside, for I am not in a hurry. A leisurely pace accomplishes more than hurried striving. When you rush, you forget who you are & Whose you are. Remember that you are royalty in My kingdom.
Psalm 37:7; Romans 8:16-17; 1 Peter 2:9
Psalm 37:7
Be still before the Lord & wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.
Romans 8:16-17
The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs - heirs of God & co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order taht we may also share in his glory.
1 Peter 2:9
But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.
Last night in my quiet time, I felt God telling me " Do not rush. Take your time, doing a little each day. I will show you when & where to stop & rest. You will get there when the time is right."
I still feel this to be true this morning. I try to put my all into anything I do which is a good thing & also a bad thing at times too. When I put my all into doing something, I really put my all into it. Then my perfectionistic tendencies come out & I get consumed easy, often times neglecting other duties in my life. I feel like this is happening with my wanting to learn all that I can of God's word. While that's a great thing to want to do, if I'm neglecting other responsibilities then I'm not honoring God in the right way.
I'm looking for that right balance when it comes to my everyday responsibilities, my quiet time, Bible studies & reading/studying my Bible, being in God's word. I've been losing my focus lately & getting all consumed easily. I'm working on so many things at once & getting overwhelmed.
I'm chosing to listen to God, slowing down, stopping & resting when I feel God telling me to do so. While I'm anxious to learn, grow & heal, I also see the point in slowing down too. When I rush to learn, grow & heal then it's not lasting, It's fleeting. Real, lasting learning growth & healing takes time. However much time that consists of is up to God's perfect timing. I'm choosing to slow down & trust in God's timing. I'll get there & I'm not stopping, just slowing down to take in the deeper meaning.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
My quiet time on 7/30/11
Wow, my quiet time was something else tonight. I really felt God leading me to specifice scripture tonight & I haven't had that happen too many times before in the last 4 years. Tonight God led me to my concordance to look up "Powerless." That led me to 2 Chronicles 14:11 which says....
"Then Asa called to the Lord his God & said, "Lord, there is no one like you to help the powerless against the mighty. Help us, O Lord our God, for we rely on you, & in your name we have come against this vast army. O Lord, you are our God, do not let man prevail against you."
Here are the study notes for this verse....
If you are facing battles your feel you can't possibly win, don't give up. In the face of vast hordes of enemy soldiers, Asa prayed for God's help, recognizing his powerlessness against such a mighty army. The secret of victory is first to admit the futility of unaided human effort & then to trust God to save. His power works best through those who recognize their limitations (2 Corinthians 12:9). It is those who think they can do it all on their own who are in the greatest danger.
I then went to 2 Corinthians 12:9 since it was mentioned in the study notes. It says....
"But he said to me," my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more glady about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
Here are the study notes for this verse....
Although God did not remove Paul's physical affliction, he promised to demonstrate his power in Paul. The fact that God's power is displayed in weak people should give us courage. Though we recognize our limitations, we will not congratulate ourselves & rest at that. Instead we will turn to God to seek pathways for effectiveness. We must rely on God for our effectiveness rather than simply on our own energy, effort or talent. Our weakness not only helps develop Christian character, it also deepens our worship, because in admitting our weakness, we affirm God's strength.
My thoughts....
God's really speaking to me tongiht! I'm facing a battle that I'm questioning my ability to win on. God's telling me to never give up & always keep fighting. I need God to be with me in this to be able to have victory over my battle. I'm limited in my own abilities but with God I am unlimited & will get to the victory. I have been continually putting myself at risk trying to do it all on my own.
It's important to recognize my limitations & see my need/want to turn to God. He can be effective where I can't. I need to stop relying on my own energy & effort to fix things when problems arise & turn to the only one who can be effective, my Lord, my God. When I admit my weaknesses, I declare God's strength which in turn deepens my Faith & Trust in Christ.
"Then Asa called to the Lord his God & said, "Lord, there is no one like you to help the powerless against the mighty. Help us, O Lord our God, for we rely on you, & in your name we have come against this vast army. O Lord, you are our God, do not let man prevail against you."
Here are the study notes for this verse....
If you are facing battles your feel you can't possibly win, don't give up. In the face of vast hordes of enemy soldiers, Asa prayed for God's help, recognizing his powerlessness against such a mighty army. The secret of victory is first to admit the futility of unaided human effort & then to trust God to save. His power works best through those who recognize their limitations (2 Corinthians 12:9). It is those who think they can do it all on their own who are in the greatest danger.
I then went to 2 Corinthians 12:9 since it was mentioned in the study notes. It says....
"But he said to me," my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more glady about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
Here are the study notes for this verse....
Although God did not remove Paul's physical affliction, he promised to demonstrate his power in Paul. The fact that God's power is displayed in weak people should give us courage. Though we recognize our limitations, we will not congratulate ourselves & rest at that. Instead we will turn to God to seek pathways for effectiveness. We must rely on God for our effectiveness rather than simply on our own energy, effort or talent. Our weakness not only helps develop Christian character, it also deepens our worship, because in admitting our weakness, we affirm God's strength.
My thoughts....
God's really speaking to me tongiht! I'm facing a battle that I'm questioning my ability to win on. God's telling me to never give up & always keep fighting. I need God to be with me in this to be able to have victory over my battle. I'm limited in my own abilities but with God I am unlimited & will get to the victory. I have been continually putting myself at risk trying to do it all on my own.
It's important to recognize my limitations & see my need/want to turn to God. He can be effective where I can't. I need to stop relying on my own energy & effort to fix things when problems arise & turn to the only one who can be effective, my Lord, my God. When I admit my weaknesses, I declare God's strength which in turn deepens my Faith & Trust in Christ.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
July 28th - Jesus Calling Devotion
Let My Love seep into the inner recesses of
your being. Do not close off any part of yourself from
Me. I know you inside & out, so do not try to present
a "cleaned - up" self to Me. Wounds taht you shut
away from from the Ligth of My Love will fester &
become wormy. Secret sins that you "hide" from Me
can split off & develop lives of their own, controlling
you without your realizing it.
Open yourself fully to My transforming Presensce.
Let My brilliant Love - Light search out & destroy
hidden fears. This process requires time alone with
Me, as My Love soaks into your innermost being.
Enjoy My perfect Love, which expels every trace of fear.
Psalm 139: 1-4, 23-24 John 4:18
This devotion was just exactly what I needed this morning. I looked up the verses mentioned & here's what my study Bible had to say on those.....
139:1-5
Sometimes we don't let people get to know us completely because we are afraid they will discover something aboutus that they won't like. But God already knows everything about us, even to the number of hairs on our heads (Matthew 10:30), & still he accepts & loves us. God is with us through every situation, in every trial - protecting, loving, guiding. He knows & loves us completely.
139:21-24
David's hatred for his enemies came from his zeal for God. David regarded his enemies as God's enemies, so his hatred was a desire for God's righteous justice & not for personal vengence. Is it all right to be angry at people who hate God? Yes, but we must remember that it is God who will deal with them, not us. If we truly love God, then we will be deeply hurt if someone hates him. David asked God to search his heart & mind & point out any wrong motives that may have been behind his strong words. But while we seek justice against evil, we must also pray that God's enemies will turn to him before he judges them
(see Matthew 5:44).
John 4:16-20
When this woman discovered that Jesus knew all about her private life, she quickly changed the subject. Often people become uncomfortable when the conversation is too close to home, & they try to talk about something else. As we witness, we should gently guide the conversation back to Christ. His presence exposes sin & makes people squirm, but only Christ can forgive sins & give new life.
I'll have to get back to my thoughts on this. I have a full house of children now & concentration is getting difficult for me at this time.
Have a great day everyone!
your being. Do not close off any part of yourself from
Me. I know you inside & out, so do not try to present
a "cleaned - up" self to Me. Wounds taht you shut
away from from the Ligth of My Love will fester &
become wormy. Secret sins that you "hide" from Me
can split off & develop lives of their own, controlling
you without your realizing it.
Open yourself fully to My transforming Presensce.
Let My brilliant Love - Light search out & destroy
hidden fears. This process requires time alone with
Me, as My Love soaks into your innermost being.
Enjoy My perfect Love, which expels every trace of fear.
Psalm 139: 1-4, 23-24 John 4:18
This devotion was just exactly what I needed this morning. I looked up the verses mentioned & here's what my study Bible had to say on those.....
139:1-5
Sometimes we don't let people get to know us completely because we are afraid they will discover something aboutus that they won't like. But God already knows everything about us, even to the number of hairs on our heads (Matthew 10:30), & still he accepts & loves us. God is with us through every situation, in every trial - protecting, loving, guiding. He knows & loves us completely.
139:21-24
David's hatred for his enemies came from his zeal for God. David regarded his enemies as God's enemies, so his hatred was a desire for God's righteous justice & not for personal vengence. Is it all right to be angry at people who hate God? Yes, but we must remember that it is God who will deal with them, not us. If we truly love God, then we will be deeply hurt if someone hates him. David asked God to search his heart & mind & point out any wrong motives that may have been behind his strong words. But while we seek justice against evil, we must also pray that God's enemies will turn to him before he judges them
(see Matthew 5:44).
John 4:16-20
When this woman discovered that Jesus knew all about her private life, she quickly changed the subject. Often people become uncomfortable when the conversation is too close to home, & they try to talk about something else. As we witness, we should gently guide the conversation back to Christ. His presence exposes sin & makes people squirm, but only Christ can forgive sins & give new life.
I'll have to get back to my thoughts on this. I have a full house of children now & concentration is getting difficult for me at this time.
Have a great day everyone!
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Question 6c from Chapter 5
It's been 2 weeks so I'm going back & answering this question now.
Chapter 5--question 6c
After a few weeks, write what God has done in your mind & in your heart through the power of His word & your prayers.
God has been challenging & changing my thinking these last 2 weeks. I've been thinking more & more about how I have been "trying" to handle it all on my own & not allowing God to do his part in my healing. God has shown me that I need to rest in him, his presence more often rather than "trying" to do it all without him. I won't make it without him. My healing won't last if he's not in it with me. God has also helped me see that when I am disappointed with the progress if my healing, I shouldn't be because my healing process is right where it is supposed to be. It's not about my plans, it's about his plan. I'm trusting in God's plan & not my own. My plans are flawed & his aren't, his are perfect. According to his plan & his timing my healing will happen. I just need to keep being an active participant in the process by continuing to pray, read my Bible, spend time in quiet with God & keep looking to him for my answers.
God has been changing my heart to be more trusting & accepting of his word without me first doubting what I'm reading or hearing. I can see where my Faith has been increasing & that makes me very happy. This last weekend was the first time I took a situation where I was getting saddened from the events of the day & I took those sad feelings to God right away. I didn't "try" to handle them on my own first & then only take them to God after I had failed on my own. This time I went to God staright away just as soon as I started feeling the sadness begin to overwhelm me & instead of waiting I took that sadness straight to God & I felt so much better afterward. I literally felt like that huge weight of sadness left me as soon as I finished praying & pouring my heart out to God. And I felt fine the rest of the night after taking it to God. Taking every little thing like that to God is the way to go. I'm going to remember to stop & nip things like that in the bud by taking them to God right away, just as soon as they begin to bother me. God is good all of the time. He will always help me when I trust him & have Faith that he can & will help me. It's been great seeing just what all God is doing within me to transform me from the inside out. For the first time I have been able to see the changes happening.
I believe that God has revealed to me my life verse in the last week. I've been waiting to be sure that this is the one. I've been praying for God to make it crystal clear to me that this verse is my life verse. I want to be sure.
God is working in me. He's growing me up in his word, in his love & in his image. I've never felt more loved too than I do right now. I get it now, I really do, God Loves Me! He always has & he always will! And I Love Him Too!
Chapter 5--question 6c
After a few weeks, write what God has done in your mind & in your heart through the power of His word & your prayers.
God has been challenging & changing my thinking these last 2 weeks. I've been thinking more & more about how I have been "trying" to handle it all on my own & not allowing God to do his part in my healing. God has shown me that I need to rest in him, his presence more often rather than "trying" to do it all without him. I won't make it without him. My healing won't last if he's not in it with me. God has also helped me see that when I am disappointed with the progress if my healing, I shouldn't be because my healing process is right where it is supposed to be. It's not about my plans, it's about his plan. I'm trusting in God's plan & not my own. My plans are flawed & his aren't, his are perfect. According to his plan & his timing my healing will happen. I just need to keep being an active participant in the process by continuing to pray, read my Bible, spend time in quiet with God & keep looking to him for my answers.
God has been changing my heart to be more trusting & accepting of his word without me first doubting what I'm reading or hearing. I can see where my Faith has been increasing & that makes me very happy. This last weekend was the first time I took a situation where I was getting saddened from the events of the day & I took those sad feelings to God right away. I didn't "try" to handle them on my own first & then only take them to God after I had failed on my own. This time I went to God staright away just as soon as I started feeling the sadness begin to overwhelm me & instead of waiting I took that sadness straight to God & I felt so much better afterward. I literally felt like that huge weight of sadness left me as soon as I finished praying & pouring my heart out to God. And I felt fine the rest of the night after taking it to God. Taking every little thing like that to God is the way to go. I'm going to remember to stop & nip things like that in the bud by taking them to God right away, just as soon as they begin to bother me. God is good all of the time. He will always help me when I trust him & have Faith that he can & will help me. It's been great seeing just what all God is doing within me to transform me from the inside out. For the first time I have been able to see the changes happening.
I believe that God has revealed to me my life verse in the last week. I've been waiting to be sure that this is the one. I've been praying for God to make it crystal clear to me that this verse is my life verse. I want to be sure.
God is working in me. He's growing me up in his word, in his love & in his image. I've never felt more loved too than I do right now. I get it now, I really do, God Loves Me! He always has & he always will! And I Love Him Too!
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Something Cool!
I want to share something pretty cool that happened yesterday. As you may know I've been having several up & down days over the last couple of weeks. I was having another difficult day on Tuesday following my counseling appointment & that carried over into my morning yesterday.
Galations 5 came up for me 3 times yesterday.
First a friend texted me asking if I had a Life Application Study Bible & if I did she suggested that I look up Galatians 5:24-25, read the verse & then specifically look at the application notes for those 2 verses. This friend had said that those 2 verses (specifically the application notes) had really hit home with her.
Then Galatians 5 came up again. When I sat down to look up those 2 verses, I already had that page bookmarked as a place where I had left off at once before when I was reading.
Finally Galatians 5 came up for the 3rd time as I sat down to work on my Bible study for the small group I'm in at my Church. We are working on a book called Discipleship Essentials by Greg Ogden this yearThe lesson we were on was about--Fruit of the Holy Spirit & the memory verse was Galatians 5:22-23. The Bible Study verses were Galatians 5:16-26.
Now this is the first time that a verse, chapter or book in the Bible has come up for me several times in a day. I knew it was no coincidence & that God had something for me to see in Galatians 5. After reading the verses & looking up the study/application notes my day turned around. I started seeing just how much God loves me & how much he's here for me & always has been. The study notes that really spoke to me were from Galatians 5:25 where it says that--God is interested in every part of our lives, not just the spiritual part.
Also the study notes for Galatians 5:24 where it says that--We must daily commit our sinful tendencies to God's control, daily crucify them, & moment by moment draw on the Spirit's power to overcome them.
I took a lot from this experience & I'm very thankful that God sent me such a strong/powerful message to read those verses. I got the message & followed his leading. My afternoon got better after that & I ended my evening on a good note by going to Small Group & getting to enjoy the company of others & a great discussion on Fruit of the Holy Spirit. A nice night!
It's amazing what being in the word can do to turn things around & get you thinking differently. God knows what he's doing. Just trust in him & he'll get you through the tough times.
Galations 5 came up for me 3 times yesterday.
First a friend texted me asking if I had a Life Application Study Bible & if I did she suggested that I look up Galatians 5:24-25, read the verse & then specifically look at the application notes for those 2 verses. This friend had said that those 2 verses (specifically the application notes) had really hit home with her.
Then Galatians 5 came up again. When I sat down to look up those 2 verses, I already had that page bookmarked as a place where I had left off at once before when I was reading.
Finally Galatians 5 came up for the 3rd time as I sat down to work on my Bible study for the small group I'm in at my Church. We are working on a book called Discipleship Essentials by Greg Ogden this yearThe lesson we were on was about--Fruit of the Holy Spirit & the memory verse was Galatians 5:22-23. The Bible Study verses were Galatians 5:16-26.
Now this is the first time that a verse, chapter or book in the Bible has come up for me several times in a day. I knew it was no coincidence & that God had something for me to see in Galatians 5. After reading the verses & looking up the study/application notes my day turned around. I started seeing just how much God loves me & how much he's here for me & always has been. The study notes that really spoke to me were from Galatians 5:25 where it says that--God is interested in every part of our lives, not just the spiritual part.
Also the study notes for Galatians 5:24 where it says that--We must daily commit our sinful tendencies to God's control, daily crucify them, & moment by moment draw on the Spirit's power to overcome them.
I took a lot from this experience & I'm very thankful that God sent me such a strong/powerful message to read those verses. I got the message & followed his leading. My afternoon got better after that & I ended my evening on a good note by going to Small Group & getting to enjoy the company of others & a great discussion on Fruit of the Holy Spirit. A nice night!
It's amazing what being in the word can do to turn things around & get you thinking differently. God knows what he's doing. Just trust in him & he'll get you through the tough times.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Chapter 7
Chapter 7 is very powerful. Strongholds are something that I understand very little of since I only came to know god 4 years ago at the age of 32. I had no church background before that either. I would say that just within the last 6 months I have really begun working to learn & understand all that I can. My stronghold is fear. Fear keeps me held back in so many areas of my life, it really does. After reading chapter 7 I feel confident that this is something that God help me learn to change. I was really struck by what Wendy says on page 96.
“Instead of asking God to take away my fear, I asked him to help me overcome it.”
“Taking away fear meant asking God to do the work for me, whereas overcoming my fear meant that I had some work to do as well.”
“He was calling me to be an active participant in the work He was about to do in my life.”
I personally have not been being a very good active participant in anything the Lord has been trying to do in me this last week. I’ve been fighting him every step of the way because it’s all started to become pretty painful for me again & I started feeling very lost again. Probably goes back to the question of “Do I really want to get better?” I’ve always said yes to this question before without too much thought on it but now I know for sure that I do want to get better. This last week has shown me just how awful it is to be back in that same place as before, the place where everything is awful, sadness is prevalent & where I don’t like myself enough to really care what happens. It’s not a good place to be & I’m ready to put in all the work that it’s going to take to get me out of that place for good. I really want it! More than I’ve wanted anything in my life! I can’t wait for the conference call tonight. I’ll hobble around while listening to it & take my notes. Yeah, I missed the doorframe last night & cracked my toe on it, It’s bkack & blue & broken. It really does pay to gt your rest so you’re not so tired that you can’t even make it through the big open door, lol. I already have my notecards & 3 different sized envelopes ready to go. Bring on the call! I can’t wait for work to be over.
I've been back to my pit a few too many times over this last week & it's time for me to walk away from there & not look back ever again. I'm praying about this continually.
“Instead of asking God to take away my fear, I asked him to help me overcome it.”
“Taking away fear meant asking God to do the work for me, whereas overcoming my fear meant that I had some work to do as well.”
“He was calling me to be an active participant in the work He was about to do in my life.”
I personally have not been being a very good active participant in anything the Lord has been trying to do in me this last week. I’ve been fighting him every step of the way because it’s all started to become pretty painful for me again & I started feeling very lost again. Probably goes back to the question of “Do I really want to get better?” I’ve always said yes to this question before without too much thought on it but now I know for sure that I do want to get better. This last week has shown me just how awful it is to be back in that same place as before, the place where everything is awful, sadness is prevalent & where I don’t like myself enough to really care what happens. It’s not a good place to be & I’m ready to put in all the work that it’s going to take to get me out of that place for good. I really want it! More than I’ve wanted anything in my life! I can’t wait for the conference call tonight. I’ll hobble around while listening to it & take my notes. Yeah, I missed the doorframe last night & cracked my toe on it, It’s bkack & blue & broken. It really does pay to gt your rest so you’re not so tired that you can’t even make it through the big open door, lol. I already have my notecards & 3 different sized envelopes ready to go. Bring on the call! I can’t wait for work to be over.
I've been back to my pit a few too many times over this last week & it's time for me to walk away from there & not look back ever again. I'm praying about this continually.
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