I was doing my usual quiet time this morning, read in proverbs first, & decided to just randomly flip open to a page & see what I found. I landed on Matthew 7. I read through it & found several things that I liked. The one that really caught my eye was Matthew 7:9-11. I read it again & then looked at the life application study notes at the bottom of the page. Now that's a rarity that I would even take the time to look at the study notes because I usually don't take the time to do that. So here's what I got...
Matthew 7:9-11
Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!
The life application notes are this...
7:9,10
The child in Jesus' example asked his father for bread & fish - good & necessary items. If the child had asked for a poisonous snake, would the wise father have franted his request?
Sometimes God knows we are praying for "snakes" & does not give us what we ask for, even though we persist in our prayers. Nore will God give us "stones" or "snakes" instead of what we need.
As we learn to know God better as a loving Father, we learn to ask for what is good for us, & then he grants it.
7-11
Christ is showing us the heart of God the Father. God is not selfish, begrudging, or stingy, & we don't have to beg or grovel as we come with our requests.
He is a loving Father who understands, cares, & comforts. If humans can be kind, imagine how kind God, the Creator of kindness, can be.
This scripture spoke to me this morning & I wanted to share it. Seeing this today helps me to see that perhaps some of the things that I'm praying for are not what is best for me or what I really need & that's why I haven't seen an answer to some of my prayers. This is just a really good reminder about prayer & how great our God is. He knows us! He knows what we need & he'll give us what we need, when we need it.
This is an area I need to grow in & remember because it goes very much hand in hand with the trust issues I have. I know God is a good, faithful & just God, a god who knows how to give good gifts to his children. He's good!
Friday, July 8, 2011
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Forgiveness - question 3a
I need to forgive myself more than anyone else. It's me that I'm the hardest on. It's me that I can't forgive, even for things that so obviously were never my fault to begin with. I took the blame when I wasn't the one that did wrong & all becauseI felt like I deserved it. Well, I know now that I didn't deserve it then & I don't deserve it now. I need to forgive myself! I want to forgive myself!
Lord please soften my heart so I can forgive myself. I want to, but I'm still a little scared to. I need you to show me the way Lord. I can't do it without you! Lead me to forgiveness, forgiveness where I don't just say "I forgive myself" with no meaning to it. Teach me Lord, how to mean it when I say " I forgive".
The second part of question 3 I'm going to have to think about for a little while. I'm not quite sure what God is teaching me through this exercise & I haven't had much time to sit quietly & think about it yet. Unfortunately my house is very loud during the day with all of the Daycare kids. I don't have the time I would like to just to sit quietly with God & think about everything. Hopefully tonight I will have some time to do that. After taking my own kids swimming after work tonight. Gotta go swimming first after a long day of working. Have a gret day!
Lord please soften my heart so I can forgive myself. I want to, but I'm still a little scared to. I need you to show me the way Lord. I can't do it without you! Lead me to forgiveness, forgiveness where I don't just say "I forgive myself" with no meaning to it. Teach me Lord, how to mean it when I say " I forgive".
The second part of question 3 I'm going to have to think about for a little while. I'm not quite sure what God is teaching me through this exercise & I haven't had much time to sit quietly & think about it yet. Unfortunately my house is very loud during the day with all of the Daycare kids. I don't have the time I would like to just to sit quietly with God & think about everything. Hopefully tonight I will have some time to do that. After taking my own kids swimming after work tonight. Gotta go swimming first after a long day of working. Have a gret day!
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Finding Your Voice
So counseling tonight once again came back to – Tricia needs to find her voice. I know that I do but how do I do it! My counselor makes sense, I need to be willing to tell people (especially family) what it is that I need from them & also what I don’t need. Tell them when something makes me uncomfortable & why that is. They can’t read my mind & I’m not giving them a chance to respect me & my feelings because I never speak up against anything. I just wallow & gripe about everything that they do that makes me uncomfortable. I get all of this, I do it & I know I do, I continue to feel like a helpless/hopeless victim that has no say. But the thing is I do have a say. I’m not that little kid anymore. I could voice my thoughts & opinions. So why won’t I? I don’t know how to find my voice without alienating my family in the process. I don’t know how to tell them what I need from them & what I don’t need that makes me feel uncomfortable without hurting them. My parents are great. I don’t want to hurt them so how do I find my voice when it comes to some of my other family without also hurting them in the process. This is something that is really holding me back & I don’t know how to do it. I don’t know how to find my voice & quit feeling like a victim, helpless & hopeless with out hurting the ones I love. How do you find your voice so that you will be helping yourself even if it means hurting others? I’m stuck here. Counseling helped tonight. I can see just how much I need to do this, find my voice to be able to tell people what it is that I need. If I won’t tell them then they’re never going to know & I’m never going to get better because I’m going to keep feeling helpless & hopeless when I’m not & all I have to do is be willing to speak up. Any thoughts anyone?
Monday, July 4, 2011
Forgiveness!
I'm not quite sure what to say about Chapter 6 yet. It's a good chapter, it really is, full of great scripture. I wish I could say that I'm to the point of forgiveness but sadly I am not yet there. I would like to be & maybe it's as simple as me making a choice to forgive, but not forget. I'll never forget, that I know. I can't go back & change anything that happened. All I can do is make the choice as to how I live my life today & that can either be full of anger or full of love for my God & all that he sacrificed for me. I chose Love! I've done anger & it does me no good. Anger only extends my pain & suffering. I don't want that pain & suffering in my life anymore. I deserve better than that, so do my kids, so does my family & so do my friends. Most importantly so does God, he deserves better from me & he wants so much more for me.
Forgiveness is a hard thing. I'm not there yet! I'm not sure how to go about getting that forgiveness in my heart. I'm sure that I can say it, I forgive you, but I can't say that I'm sure I'll really mean it. Not yet anyway. I'm looking forward to how God is going to work in me to get me to that point of being able to forgive. I know God has great things in store for me but it's my job to follow him & listen to the things he's showing me about myself that need changing. Then I need to go about changing those things the way God wants me to. God is a good God! He loves us so much! God suffered with me & still suffers with me to this day. He does this everytime I choose to go there again & relive the past. Which I do do that at times. I'm not sure why I torment myself by doing this but there are days that I do. More so on days when I'm really tired &/or not feeling well. I've realized that those are trigger points for me, points when I'm more vulnerable to the Devil's attacks. Those are the days that I need to be in the word of God even more than I usually am. I need God's truths to hold onto & keep me moving on those days. I can't do it on my own, I need God. I've tried on my own. It doesn't work well! God's the way to go, he can help us through it all & best of all HE WANTS TO. He wants to help us! He longs for a closer relationship with us, with me. All I have to do is let him in.
I liked the part that Wendy writes on page 87 about God not giving up on her. "God in his faithfulness did not give up on me. He showed me that he was not asking me to forget. My hurt & pain were valid in His eyes. They were real. However, I had allowed them to take control of my life. They ruled my heart, & as long as they did, God could not." That's powerful! I have never before really thought about it like this. I do know that God hasn't ever given up on me. I can see the ways that he has tried to get through to me on the subject of hurt & pain. I now know that he has been longing for me to bring all of my hurts & pains to him for a whole lot longer than I've known & walked with him. I've been walking with God for 4 years now. Not a huge amount of time. I came to God at the age of 32. Having never gone to Church before, I have a lot to learn still. I'm a continual work in progress. It took me until just this year at my Church's Good Friday service before I really GOT IT, what all Jesus went through for me. I'd heard it before but had never really let it in.
This year has been really eye opening for me in my understanding of who Jesus is. I can definately say that I've been more open to listening to the things that God puts on my heart. Not long ago God put it on my heart to start tithing a full 10% of my income. I prayed about it & talked to a few people from Church first but then I took that leap of Faith & just did it. After a few weeks of tithing a full 10%, God then put it on my heart that I needed to include the Child Support check I receive every month in that full 10% tithing. I didn't want to do it, I really didn't. I kept thinking that God couldn't possibly be wanting me to do thatwith that particular money. But you know what he did. He kept putting it on my heart over & over again until I got it. The first month I didn't listen to his prompting but the second month I saw the promptings for what they were & I did it, I took that big leap of Faith & wrote the check including the child support money. I had trouble writing that check. It was a lot more than I had ever written to the church in a given week ever. I decided to trust in God. I know he will provide for me & my kids. I knew this was the right thing to do becauseby doing so I was then being obediant to God & his word. Thanks Veronica for the late night texts over this one. I knew what I needed to do but I'm not sure I would have gotten to the point of actually writing that check without you helping me to see it all in a little bit different way. It's amazing who God sends into your life to help you on his behalf. I've seen this a few times & look froward to seeing it again.
"Can you see how God has been speaking to you all along", from page 89. I'm starting to see this now. God has been speaking to me personally for quite some time now, I just haven't been listening attentively. It's time to change that & I'm ready. It's going to take work on my part but I'm able, willing & ready to make this change & listen for God's voice. He loves me & wants so much better for me than I could ever dream of. Like Wendy said, I did not pick up this book by accident & neither did anyone else. We all picked up this book because God had it planned for us to do so. He knows where he's going to take us through this journey we're on. We don't know where exactly that is & that tends to be scary to us when we don't see ahead of time where that is we are going. God is in control! He won't let us down & he'll never leave us! He'll always be here for us. I'm choosing to Listen to & follow God wherever he may lead me. I'm on a journey, he won't let me down!
Forgiveness is a hard thing. I'm not there yet! I'm not sure how to go about getting that forgiveness in my heart. I'm sure that I can say it, I forgive you, but I can't say that I'm sure I'll really mean it. Not yet anyway. I'm looking forward to how God is going to work in me to get me to that point of being able to forgive. I know God has great things in store for me but it's my job to follow him & listen to the things he's showing me about myself that need changing. Then I need to go about changing those things the way God wants me to. God is a good God! He loves us so much! God suffered with me & still suffers with me to this day. He does this everytime I choose to go there again & relive the past. Which I do do that at times. I'm not sure why I torment myself by doing this but there are days that I do. More so on days when I'm really tired &/or not feeling well. I've realized that those are trigger points for me, points when I'm more vulnerable to the Devil's attacks. Those are the days that I need to be in the word of God even more than I usually am. I need God's truths to hold onto & keep me moving on those days. I can't do it on my own, I need God. I've tried on my own. It doesn't work well! God's the way to go, he can help us through it all & best of all HE WANTS TO. He wants to help us! He longs for a closer relationship with us, with me. All I have to do is let him in.
I liked the part that Wendy writes on page 87 about God not giving up on her. "God in his faithfulness did not give up on me. He showed me that he was not asking me to forget. My hurt & pain were valid in His eyes. They were real. However, I had allowed them to take control of my life. They ruled my heart, & as long as they did, God could not." That's powerful! I have never before really thought about it like this. I do know that God hasn't ever given up on me. I can see the ways that he has tried to get through to me on the subject of hurt & pain. I now know that he has been longing for me to bring all of my hurts & pains to him for a whole lot longer than I've known & walked with him. I've been walking with God for 4 years now. Not a huge amount of time. I came to God at the age of 32. Having never gone to Church before, I have a lot to learn still. I'm a continual work in progress. It took me until just this year at my Church's Good Friday service before I really GOT IT, what all Jesus went through for me. I'd heard it before but had never really let it in.
This year has been really eye opening for me in my understanding of who Jesus is. I can definately say that I've been more open to listening to the things that God puts on my heart. Not long ago God put it on my heart to start tithing a full 10% of my income. I prayed about it & talked to a few people from Church first but then I took that leap of Faith & just did it. After a few weeks of tithing a full 10%, God then put it on my heart that I needed to include the Child Support check I receive every month in that full 10% tithing. I didn't want to do it, I really didn't. I kept thinking that God couldn't possibly be wanting me to do thatwith that particular money. But you know what he did. He kept putting it on my heart over & over again until I got it. The first month I didn't listen to his prompting but the second month I saw the promptings for what they were & I did it, I took that big leap of Faith & wrote the check including the child support money. I had trouble writing that check. It was a lot more than I had ever written to the church in a given week ever. I decided to trust in God. I know he will provide for me & my kids. I knew this was the right thing to do becauseby doing so I was then being obediant to God & his word. Thanks Veronica for the late night texts over this one. I knew what I needed to do but I'm not sure I would have gotten to the point of actually writing that check without you helping me to see it all in a little bit different way. It's amazing who God sends into your life to help you on his behalf. I've seen this a few times & look froward to seeing it again.
"Can you see how God has been speaking to you all along", from page 89. I'm starting to see this now. God has been speaking to me personally for quite some time now, I just haven't been listening attentively. It's time to change that & I'm ready. It's going to take work on my part but I'm able, willing & ready to make this change & listen for God's voice. He loves me & wants so much better for me than I could ever dream of. Like Wendy said, I did not pick up this book by accident & neither did anyone else. We all picked up this book because God had it planned for us to do so. He knows where he's going to take us through this journey we're on. We don't know where exactly that is & that tends to be scary to us when we don't see ahead of time where that is we are going. God is in control! He won't let us down & he'll never leave us! He'll always be here for us. I'm choosing to Listen to & follow God wherever he may lead me. I'm on a journey, he won't let me down!
Friday, July 1, 2011
Anxiety
Wow, I'm having some anxiety getting ahold of me this morning. I haven't had it come on this bad for a few months now, not since I started counseling. I'm not sure what's causing it. There doesn't seem to be anything in particular that I'm anxious about. Just a general anxiousness going on.
Time to look up some scripture to try & combat this feeling. I'm going to get out my concordance & see what I can find. This will be the first time I've actually looked in there to find scripture pertaining to anything specific.
Scriptures on Anxiety:
Ecclesiastes 11:10
So then,banish anxiety from your heart & cast off the troubles of your body, for youth & vigor are meaningless.
1Peter 5:7
Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
Proverbs 12:25
An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up.
Philippians 4:6
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer & petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
These are great scriptures to share but not exactly what I'm looking for today. I'm not sure what my trouble is to be able to give it over to God like these scriptures say to do. Guess I could pray that he'll reveal to me what is causing me this anxiousness. That or just pray about the anxiousness I'm feeling in a general sense. God knows what's going on even if & when I don't understand it. He's good! He loves me!
Time to Pray & then look up some more scriptures, see if I can find what I'm looking for.
Time to look up some scripture to try & combat this feeling. I'm going to get out my concordance & see what I can find. This will be the first time I've actually looked in there to find scripture pertaining to anything specific.
Scriptures on Anxiety:
Ecclesiastes 11:10
So then,banish anxiety from your heart & cast off the troubles of your body, for youth & vigor are meaningless.
1Peter 5:7
Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
Proverbs 12:25
An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up.
Philippians 4:6
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer & petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
These are great scriptures to share but not exactly what I'm looking for today. I'm not sure what my trouble is to be able to give it over to God like these scriptures say to do. Guess I could pray that he'll reveal to me what is causing me this anxiousness. That or just pray about the anxiousness I'm feeling in a general sense. God knows what's going on even if & when I don't understand it. He's good! He loves me!
Time to Pray & then look up some more scriptures, see if I can find what I'm looking for.
I have no idea what I'm doing!
Hi all! I have no idea what I'm doing here. This is my first blog. I'm sure I'll figure it out as I go along though. I'm hoping that by starting a blog I'll be able to express myself in a way that I haven't been able to before.
I'm on a journey! A journey to healing & becoming closer to God in & through that healing journey. I've already been able to see where & how God has begun working within me. He's there! He's guiding me in the direction I need to go to get to my healing.
I have been so very blessed in a number of ways since the begining of my journey. God is so good. When we're down in that pit seeing God as good is something that is so hard to see. But when we're up off of our mats & moving, we can see it so much much easier. Gods blessings are everywhere. They're all around us everyday! Lets commit to looking for these blessings within each day. I'm going to start doing this myself. I need to keep my focus on God's blessings instead of my negativity. When I do this my day goes so much better.
This is the first of many more posts, Hopefully! I don't have the hang of this quite yet. My daughter was the one who set me up with a blog. I had no idea how to even go about getting one. Thank You Megan! I love how knowledgable you are & that you are so willing to help your ol mom learn. Be sure to give me some tips along the way. That goes for anyone reading this too. I have no idea what I am doing. So I would gladly accept any suggestions on blogging.
I hope everyone out there is having a great day.
God Bless & Take Care,
Tricia
I'm on a journey! A journey to healing & becoming closer to God in & through that healing journey. I've already been able to see where & how God has begun working within me. He's there! He's guiding me in the direction I need to go to get to my healing.
I have been so very blessed in a number of ways since the begining of my journey. God is so good. When we're down in that pit seeing God as good is something that is so hard to see. But when we're up off of our mats & moving, we can see it so much much easier. Gods blessings are everywhere. They're all around us everyday! Lets commit to looking for these blessings within each day. I'm going to start doing this myself. I need to keep my focus on God's blessings instead of my negativity. When I do this my day goes so much better.
This is the first of many more posts, Hopefully! I don't have the hang of this quite yet. My daughter was the one who set me up with a blog. I had no idea how to even go about getting one. Thank You Megan! I love how knowledgable you are & that you are so willing to help your ol mom learn. Be sure to give me some tips along the way. That goes for anyone reading this too. I have no idea what I am doing. So I would gladly accept any suggestions on blogging.
I hope everyone out there is having a great day.
God Bless & Take Care,
Tricia
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)