Chapter 7 is very powerful. Strongholds are something that I understand very little of since I only came to know god 4 years ago at the age of 32. I had no church background before that either. I would say that just within the last 6 months I have really begun working to learn & understand all that I can. My stronghold is fear. Fear keeps me held back in so many areas of my life, it really does. After reading chapter 7 I feel confident that this is something that God help me learn to change. I was really struck by what Wendy says on page 96.
“Instead of asking God to take away my fear, I asked him to help me overcome it.”
“Taking away fear meant asking God to do the work for me, whereas overcoming my fear meant that I had some work to do as well.”
“He was calling me to be an active participant in the work He was about to do in my life.”
I personally have not been being a very good active participant in anything the Lord has been trying to do in me this last week. I’ve been fighting him every step of the way because it’s all started to become pretty painful for me again & I started feeling very lost again. Probably goes back to the question of “Do I really want to get better?” I’ve always said yes to this question before without too much thought on it but now I know for sure that I do want to get better. This last week has shown me just how awful it is to be back in that same place as before, the place where everything is awful, sadness is prevalent & where I don’t like myself enough to really care what happens. It’s not a good place to be & I’m ready to put in all the work that it’s going to take to get me out of that place for good. I really want it! More than I’ve wanted anything in my life! I can’t wait for the conference call tonight. I’ll hobble around while listening to it & take my notes. Yeah, I missed the doorframe last night & cracked my toe on it, It’s bkack & blue & broken. It really does pay to gt your rest so you’re not so tired that you can’t even make it through the big open door, lol. I already have my notecards & 3 different sized envelopes ready to go. Bring on the call! I can’t wait for work to be over.
I've been back to my pit a few too many times over this last week & it's time for me to walk away from there & not look back ever again. I'm praying about this continually.
OUCH !!! Yea sleep is important to keep toes safe. Hope you feel better soon. That question struck me as well. Do I want to get better? Ahhh Duh yes I do.I say. " Do you think I really enjoy being in pain and torment?" But after this chapter which I haven't blogged about yet- I have to wonder if I do then whats stoppin me? I cant be that comfy to want to actually stay here. This study is really challenging me. Pretty soon I'll have growing pains. Keep up the good work.
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