Finding Your Voice

So counseling tonight once again came back to – Tricia needs to find her voice. I know that I do but how do I do it! My counselor makes sense, I need to be willing to tell people (especially family) what it is that I need from them & also what I don’t need. Tell them when something makes me uncomfortable & why that is. They can’t read my mind & I’m not giving them a chance to respect me & my feelings because I never speak up against anything. I just wallow & gripe about everything that they do that makes me uncomfortable. I get all of this, I do it & I know I do, I continue to feel like a helpless/hopeless victim that has no say. But the thing is I do have a say. I’m not that little kid anymore. I could voice my thoughts & opinions. So why won’t I? I don’t know how to find my voice without alienating my family in the process. I don’t know how to tell them what I need from them & what I don’t need that makes me feel uncomfortable without hurting them. My parents are great. I don’t want to hurt them so how do I find my voice when it comes to some of my other family without also hurting them in the process. This is something that is really holding me back & I don’t know how to do it. I don’t know how to find my voice & quit feeling like a victim, helpless & hopeless with out hurting the ones I love. How do you find your voice so that you will be helping yourself even if it means hurting others? I’m stuck here. Counseling helped tonight. I can see just how much I need to do this, find my voice to be able to tell people what it is that I need. If I won’t tell them then they’re never going to know & I’m never going to get better because I’m going to keep feeling helpless & hopeless when I’m not & all I have to do is be willing to speak up. Any thoughts anyone?